Its All Alright

So last Sunday morning, I wake up blissfully unaware of the upcoming tragedy as I went downstairs to feed my dog. It was then I checked my phone to find a text from the bf. Its the kind of text you never expect to get. At least I didnt, and maybe I was naive, but I never saw it coming. Not even a little bit. The actual text is something I really dont want to look at right now, but the gist of it was: 'I am breaking up with you. We are better as friends, and thats it. Oh, and my mom really likes you.' I was stunned and immediately heartbroken and wasnt sure how to respond, and to be frank, I am not sure how I did respond. We texted back and forth a while, and at some point I said "You're breaking my heart." and he said "I'm sorry." It just destroyed me. I went back to bed with my dog and proceeded to watch Breaking Dawn Part 2 while crying quietly in the early morning hours of a Sunday betrayed. Eventually my roomie came in to check on her dog, and immediately knew something was wrong and asked me. I said "W broke up with me." And she jumped into bed with me and we talked about it all day. She called in sick to work to stay with me. At some point that morning, I decided to put on a pretty dress, sparkly heels, and a crown while eating Oreo's watching Breaking Dawn Part 2 on repeat. I was so legitimately blindsided that I hadnt actually had any prep time at all. Plus, his reasoning for ending things just made no sense. It still doesnt. He gave me 3 reasons, all of which we had been open and honest about since day one. So his reasons are invalid in my book. But that said, I respect him for having his own opinion and for being straightforward with me, even if it hurts like hell. He has the right to choose who he is in a relationship with, and as much as I love him, I would never want him to feel like he was obligated to stay with me. I never want anyone to feel that way. I want them to WANT to stay: to CHOOSE to stay. And he didnt. But the really weird thing is that I am not even mad. I am sad, really sad, because I already miss him and I had high hopes for us, but I am not mad for someone doing what they think is the right thing. I just never really thought it would end like this. Or at all. And it sounds stupid, but I really like his mom- she and I get along famously. I miss her too. And I do want to be friends even if that means that cant be together, because I think he is an honest, good person. And we just werent meant to be. Thats always a jagged pill to swallow. It seems things are NEVER meant to be for me. And I really put myself out there for him. In every way imaginable. I was honest, and didnt let my insecurities make me hide myself from him. I made a conscious effort to say what I was thinking even if that meant being vulnerable. And that is so so so hard to do. But I would rather put my true self out there and be rejected, than hide from the intimacy of it and never know what could have been. So I have been listening to "All Alright" by FUN. and its really helping me get through this all. The lyrics say "Its all alright, I said its all alright. I got nothing left inside of my chest, but its all alright." and "I came back with the belief that everyone I love is gonna leave me..." And that about sums it up for this post. I guess its all alright...